Bz's Business

hey strangers...

2009-02-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

man I know it has been a while since my last entry, and dont think I have forgot about my fans...

Once again, the time is drawing nearer to the SUMMER CONCERT SEASON at the SHORELINE!!
and I am gonna give y'all a list of the shows lined up so far on this summers concert roster, and I will do my best to keep updating...

Sun, 05/10/09
07:00 p.m. Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Mountain View, CA An Evening with The Dead

Thu, 05/14/09
07:00 p.m. Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Mountain View, CA An Evening with The Dead

Mon, 07/13/09
07:30 p.m. Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Mountain View, CA Coldplay

Sat, 07/25/09
07:30 p.m. Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Mountain View, CA No Doubt with Paramore

Thu, 07/30/09
05:30 p.m. Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Mountain View, CA Crue Fest 2

Wed, 09/02/09
07:00 p.m. Shoreline Amphitheatre at Mountain View
Mountain View, CA Def Leppard with Poison and Cheap Trick

SUMMER FUN!!!!

2008-05-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

The closer I get to working more shows at the SHORELINE AMPHITHEATRE, the more and more excited I am getting and it is just killing me because I miss working the shows last summer

...as far as other things I have been doing lately is WAKEBOARDING... I havent yet actually gotten up on the wakeboard yet, but now there is a jacket big enough to fit me comfortably

I at least got strapped in and attempted!!!

SHORELINE BABY!!!!!

2008-04-19T13:07:00.000-07:00

SUMMERTIME IS HERE!!!!!

and we are BACK TO WORKIN SHOWS!!!!! =)

I am so fuckin EXCITED for this SUMMERTIME it means so many things for so many different people and I feel that this is going to a GREAT SUMMER!!!

Will be in touch more frequently for this summers festivities as they come along =)

Rest In Peace Edmond Wong...

2008-03-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

So the other day I found out one of my uncles... my moms favorite cousins passed away from cancer the other day, so I am doing my best to be as supportive of my family especially my mom...

today was the day for friends and family to view the body... tomorrow is the funeral service for him and I think tomorrow is when I will probably meet all the cousins from all over the place, that I never knew existed...

my Uncle was a very well known pastor in San Francisco, by the name of Edmond Wong. When I hear stories of him, I know he was a great man, an awesome cousin and an even better friend... to those who knew him well...

another interesting piece of history that I found out today was that he was my fathers best man in my parents' wedding (back in the day, of course) as well as other stuff I have heard about him that just really made me wish I knew him morethan I did...

From my understanding, I was fortunate enough to meet him while he was in his walk with the lord, went to hear him minister once or twice...

not saying he was ever a bad person, but it is my understanding that in his lifetime, he went from one extreme to the next, in a good way... please dont get that wrong... that is all for now... I will try and check in tomorrow after the funeral service... if I even have the energy... if not tomorrow, as soon as I get the opportunity to remember to check in here with my fans... =)

HELLO!!!!

2008-02-24T00:46:00.000-08:00

hello my fans, if you are still out there minding me any business... it has been a while but guess what???? I am back online and getting you all caught up on the last few months of my life and some lessons learned... stay tuned for further update, it has been a long time and I think I went through alot. I am tired now, but I will be on much more now that I am back online

Good Night my friends =)

Long time no blogg

2007-07-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

well it has been quite a while since I last checked in and I have made some forward movement in life... thanks to GOD. I am now employed at two jobs (part time) doing the same thing at both jobs... Event Staff! Which means I get paid to go to concerts. =) other than that though, it is very exhausting.

thats all I feel like talking about now... so until next time...

LOVE PEACE AND HAIRGREASE!!! =)

I gotta say it was a good day...

2007-04-27T18:56:00.000-07:00

So today was a very blessed day for me... =) I had my interview today and I feel like I got the job, I had the perfect interview, it was a group interview, and since I was going for the LP job, I had to fill out a "Loss Prevention Assessment" and now I am waiting for them to finish "grading" it and I think I should call tomorrow to show them that I am excited about doing this job.

...And if I don't get that job I still got the Shoreline Amphitheatre orientation on May 5.

So I am feelinig quite BETTER about life right now

I just wanted to give some good news for now... I will be in touch later when I get a chance =)

in out and ahead...

2007-04-26T19:12:00.000-07:00

So I am excited and slightly nervous... Oh sorry I know it has been a while and I should be updating this more often, but life happens and it gets busier by the moment. but I just wanted to check in with my loyal fans...

I think the last time I checked in with you all, I was just about done with my schooling for the time being so I could get the rest of my life together and if you read some of my previous bloggs you know my situation. Basically I need to get off of my ass and get into gear with my life.

As I said earlier, I am excited because within the last two weeks have been very productive for me. I got a job at the Shoreline Amphitheater the orientation is May 5

and as for more good info... I got a job interview tomorrow at Macy's And being that I know someone that works there, I found out that it is going to be a group interview. So now I kinda know what to expect...

well, I am going to sign out for now, because there are people waiting to use the computer, so I am going to be nice... FOR NOW... HAHAHAHA!!! =)

I dont know what I am saying...

2007-04-09T19:20:00.000-07:00

So I know it has been a while since I last blogged and I feel as if I need to now... if you you are any type of fan of mine, you already know my situation, homeless now for a little over a month and a half and I am adjusting to this lifestyle AGAIN which truly scares me ALOT!!!

because it is really easy for me to become comfortable with the lifestyle of homelessness. which for me is not a problem, I have an understanding of what this situation entails. and I am severely getting sick of the way that this lifestyle makes my heart really cold, and anyone who knows me... knows that this I am not anywhere near cold-hearted but with my current living situation, in a homeless shelter.

and its not like I am totally helpless, I mean I do have the capacity to survive and have a decent group of close associates that I might be actually close enough to be calling them true friends, but at the same time I fear, from past experiences, that the more I tend to give, not only do they decide to take more but me being the people pleaser that I am, I just keep on giving...

and that is only because that is how I was raised, tho share and share alike and the "GOLDEN RULE", and as I go on in here, I am learning that not everyone treats you how you treat them, and I know that is a part of life, I just wish more people (in general) would just treat people nicer.

TATA 4 NOW... SMOKE BREAK!!!! (I will explain later)

CHECKIN IN...

2007-03-16T12:40:00.000-07:00

So.... It has been a while since you(my fans) have heard from me and I figured that since I have a little bit of time, that I might check in with you all...

Let me see, last time I believe I was on here I had just recently become a resident of a homeless shelter in San Jose...

UMMMMMMMMM... within these last few weeks, so much has gone on and there is only one way I can describe it.

Barnum and Bailey's got nothing on this show, I am daily involved in the greatest show on earth... from the excitement of what is gonna happen next, to the passion of life at its best. I am truly beginning to see that GOD has put my mother and I in this situation, not to the full extent but I am grateful GOD has put me where I must have needed to be at thip point of my life to bring us "back to the basics of life."

I have befriended a few good folks and there seems to be a sense of community there its like we are almost family. there are actually some people in this establishment that I would consider close enough to be family and the ability to feel this way is very interesting to me because I have some trust issues and it seems like when I am around certain folks, I am able to drop my walls a little bit.

well, I feel that I have spurted off a bit more than I can chew, so I am going to do my best to post here more often...

STAY TUNED :)

GOD IS GOOD

2007-02-25T17:31:00.000-08:00

So we have a friend of the family is letting us stay in a house they are paying rent for and not living there, and they do not want me and my mom to be livin in a homeless shelter so they are letting us stay there for a little bit

as for some positive news, I had a job interview today and I also got ahold of one of my previous co-worker and he has told me that there is a few positions open at where he works and it is local to where we are going to be living and there are so many more opportunities in the area, which is a motivating factor to me.

It could be worse...

2007-02-23T19:02:00.000-08:00

So I promised that I would keep you all in touch when possible. So here I am in a homeless shelter and trying to keep my head on straight, it is not the first time I have ever been homeless, but I dont like it that the only person here who I can trust is my mom. Not that its bad to be able to trust my mom but for that to be the only one who truly has my back in this whole situation, is just unbelievable to me.

Like I mentioned previously I have been homeless in the past in a different county, and that was with my dad, and it was completely different.mainly because of the diference in defense mechanisms, my dad made sure I was alright as well and made sure we weere alright, as my mom is, but my dad is/was slightly more used to being homeless to where this is my moms first time being homeless and she is showing me that if I weren't here with her, I dont think she would keep her head on right.

I do feel slightly back into being homeless while realising that it is only temporary and we will only be here for about a month or so.and for me it isnt as bad as it could be. we could be without a.)a vehicle b.) money or c.) a roof over our head and plenty of resources to utilize.

Like I said "it COULD be a lot worse." So for now, this is Bryan "Bz" SIGNING OUT

I might be back later... But I will definitely be staying in contact with this as a journal for my sanity, and maybe even sometimes, I might be able to entertain you a lil bit.

PEACE GRITS and ALL THAT GOOD SHIT!!!!

TURN THE PAGE...

2007-02-19T21:14:00.000-08:00

So this may be the last you hear from me for a while... I am going to be disconnecting the home computer and going to be on the move. I will try to do my best to report on here as much as possible while on my journey towards a better life.

SO UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN... BE SAFE!!!

Good Habits Hebrews 6:1

2007-02-19T10:30:00.000-08:00

So let us go on to grown-up teaching.
Let us not go back over the beginning lessons
we learned about Christ.
Hebrews 6:1

     I like the story of the little boy who fell out
of bed. When his Mom asked him what happened,
he answered, "I don't know. I guess I stayed too close
to where I got in."
     Easy to do the same with our faith. It's tempt-
ing just to stay where we got in and never move.
     Pick a time in the not-too-distant past. A year
or two ago. Now ask yourself a few questions. How
does your prayer life today compare with then? How
about your giving? Have both the amount and the
joy increased? What about your church loyalty? Can
you tell you've grown? And bible study? Are you
learning to learn?...
     Don't make the mistake of the little boy. Don't
stay too close to where you got in. It's risky resting
on the edge.

When God Whispers Your Name

If God is for us, who [can be] against us?

2007-02-19T10:12:00.000-08:00

If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who
can be our foe, if God is on our side?]
Romans 8:31

     Do you feel as though the world is against
you? Does it seem that no matter how
hard you try no one is pleased? Maybe you have con-
flict with a family member. Perhaps your boss finds
fault with your work.
     Sooner or later you will experience some form
of rejection. Not everybody will like you. some may
even aggressively dislike you. No one enjoys being re-
jected, but you can learn to handle rejeciton and get
on with your life if you remember that jesus was
also rejected and despised. If you feel rejected, give
your hurt to God:
    Lord, I can't please everyone all of the time. I
will concentrate on being a God pleaser and not a
man pleaser. The rest I leave in Your hands, Lord.
Grant me favor with You and with men, and con-
tinue transforming me into the image of Your Son.
Thank You, Lord.

according to this quiz I just took... I AM AN OLD SOUL

2007-02-18T23:35:00.000-08:00

table width="500" border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#003366">

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

What’s Your Mental Age?

MY RESULT:Old Soul

You’re a great person to know ‘cause you’re so wise and mature. Plus you’re probably good at shuffleboard.

The good news is, you're fearless, and you've got a healthy outlook on life. The bad news is, you've got one foot in the grave. Hey, that's okay - we're sure you'll be partying it up in the afterlife, too.

Take This Quiz!

HAPPY YEAR OF THE BOAR

2007-02-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

And have a blessed

Feelings, nothing more than FEELINGS...

2007-02-17T12:09:00.000-08:00

So this is the last weekend at this place of residence which I choose to call a HELL HOLE and I am slightly excited, nervous, scared happy dicomforted and uneasy about everything that has been going on in the last few months in my life. I have not been able to be/get comfortable for the longest time, I am so full of stress now that I don't know what to do with myself, half the time. I think it is because we have NOWHERE TO GO, is what is making me feel all of these feelings, so much.

this is how our land/slumlord has treated us. the funny thing is that he didn't even know who we were until we were in court and his attorney called our names and we responded. Ain't that some shit...

You know how I know you are gay...

2007-02-16T21:05:00.001-08:00

So I was tricked into this clip...

2007-02-16T20:52:00.000-08:00

A Russian dramatist and writer once said...

2007-02-16T16:09:00.000-08:00

Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given.
- Anton Chekhov (1860-1904) Russian dramatist and writer

Whatever may be troubling you, shake it off!

2007-02-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

Now Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and he
was laying them on the fire when a vier crawled out
because of the heat and fastened itself on his hand.
When the natives saw the little animal hanging from
his hand, they said to one another, Doubtless this
man is a murderer, for though he has been saved from
the sea, Justice [the goddess of avenging] has not
permitted that he should live. Then [Paul simply]
shook off the small creature into the fire and
suffered no evil effects.
Acts 28:3-5

When Paul was shipwrecked on the island
of Malta, a deadly snake that was driven
out by the heat of fire bit him. He simply shook
the creature off into the flames. You should follow
Paul's example and do the same in your own life.
Whatever may be troubling you, shake it off!
God has great things planned for you. the dreams of
the future leave no room for the snakebites of the
past.

Aristotle noted...

2007-02-15T16:53:00.000-08:00

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

my personality...

2007-02-15T16:44:00.000-08:00

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

The eSPIN Personality Test

MY RESULT:Human Coffee Bean

Just like a normal coffee bean, you're pure energy (but unlike one of them, you're not so bitter).

You've got a pretty good attitude about things - you're kind, and a good friend - but sometimes you're so revved up that you don't know what to do with yourself. So you burn it off with fun and parties and having a good time. Which is a big part of why people are drawn to you - you've got great energy surrounding you.

Just don't forget about all the great things that happen in the quiet moments. You know - when you finally stop running around and take a nice look around you. Sometimes low-energy is just as thrilling as high-energy. You know what we mean?

Take This Quiz!

3 Meat Pasta Sauce

2007-02-15T01:04:00.000-08:00

Ingredients:
3 lbs. Beef Chuck Roast (Boneless), trimmed and cut into 1” cubes
3 lbs. Pork Roast (Boneless), trimmed and cut into 1” cubes
1 lb. Italian Sausage Links, cut into 1” slices
3 tbs. Olive Oil
3 large onions, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 28-oz. cans tomato sauce
1 28-oz. can tomatoes with juice, crushed
3 6-oz. cans tomato paste
1/2 cup fresh parsley, minced
2 tbs. oregano
2 tbs. dried basil
3 tsp. garlic salt
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. pepper.

Directions:
In a large soup kettle, brown all meats in olive oil, drain. Add onions and garlic, and cook until tender. Add all remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, loosely cover and simmer for 3 hours, stirring occasionally. Serve over pasta or freeze for later use.

the anticipation is growing....

2007-02-15T00:40:00.000-08:00

I think this FREE OZZFEST is going to be OFF THE HOOK... I was reading up on this matter and doing some research, when I stumbled across an interesting piece of information pertaining to the stipulations of this free event, which stated that you can have a free seat, but if you leave that seat, it goes up for grabs, and your friend(s) may not be able to save you that seat.

this could be good or it could be bad too...

well, I really hope it is a good thing, because I have been to OZZFEST in 2005, and it was an experience that i will never forget, which is why I think I would enjoy this event, especially since it is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!

This is from 2005. My boy Ricky got the tickets for his birthday and brought me. I had too much fun :)

just simply answer the questions... PLEASE?!

2007-02-15T00:36:00.000-08:00

1. your name:

2. age:

3. fave color:

4. are you a virgin?

5. are we friends?

6. Do you have a crush on me?

7. would you kiss me?

8. ....... with tongue?

9. would you enjoy it?

10. would you ever ask me out?

11. would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

12. would you take care of me when i'm sick?

13. do you want to tell me somthing that you couldn't before?

14. would you walk on the beach with me?

15. if you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

16. do you/have you talk shit about me?

17. do you think i'm a good person?

18. would you let me sleep with you?

19. do you think i'm hot?

20. if you could change anything about me , what would it be?

21. if we date, how long would you want to wait until we did it?

22. would you have sex with me?

23. would you come over for no reason, just to hang out?

24. will you post thist so i can fill it out for you?

25. what do you rate me outta 1- 10??

whatever don't kill us is going to make us stronger, right???

2007-02-14T22:57:00.000-08:00

Well, we had court today and we are officially evicted just waiting for the sheriff to serve us the OFFICIAL 5-day notice and it is a good thing that we at least got a storage so that we dont lose all of our personal belongings. it is kind of a shock but I truly think it is for the best. The way I figure it, it can only get better from here, after all that my mom and I have been through within the last few months, as far as death in the family, loss of employment, while fighting an eviction...

like I may have mentioned before... whatever don't kill us is going to make us stronger, right??? and after these trials and tribulations I may end up very strong, because MAN does it feel like we have been through hell and high water... AND SURVIVED!!!

some words of wisdom...

2007-02-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
- Joseph Joubert

so tired of being lonely...

2007-02-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

I am so sick of being told the same thing over and over... JUST BE PATIENT, THE RIGHT ONE IS OUT THERE... WAITING FOR YOU LIKE YOU ARE FOR HER.

just so sick of waiting, and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting

I think you get the picture.

I don't get it, I am a good guy, not ugly, great personality... pretty much every thing I hear women wanting in a man... I guess when they say "size matters" is talking about the belly... I am a pretty big guy, and such a "GREAT FRIEND" but none of these females I go after are just not interested in being with a good man

I guess I wil just keep patiently waitin...

I DONT KNOW ANYMORE...

2007-02-12T12:56:00.000-08:00

I dont know why it is but every time I sit at the computer, I get this overwhelming sensation of exhaustion, and I dont know why it only happens to me when I need to get work done. I can mess around all day surfing the internet, checking e-mail and staying stuck on myspace, but when I decide to start doing work, like I am supposed to, I just get really tired. I think it is because I am using the excuse of my life and all the shtuff that I have been going through within the last few months and I just don't feel like the Criminal Justice field is not my true passion? I mean it was fun my first quarter, learning criminal justice, but now it seems like I am not learning anything new. maybe that is why I am not as enthused about doing the work. its not my true passion, maybe???

I just wish that I had more of a motivator than just money, because if it is just about money, my true passion will never see the lights of day, and I will die alone and feeling unfulfilled...

I think I need to really explore my passion for life and where do I want to take it?

I DONT KNOW ANYMORE!!!

someone once said...

2007-02-12T06:08:00.000-08:00

I read this somewhere and wanted to share it...

"Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength."

I like what is being said :)

OZZFEST or FREEFEST???

2007-02-09T00:35:00.000-08:00

HOLY OZZFEST, BATMAN...

OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!

so I was listening to the radio today, I happened to hear some of the sweetest words to my ears, went a little somthin like... "OZZFEST WILL BE ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!" After I heard that, my heart dropped and I got so excited and had to tell my boys and one of them knew it already and tried to doubt Ozzy.

OZZFEST FOR FREE!!! OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!

good news, bad news... better news :)

2007-02-07T21:26:00.000-08:00

So as I have been mentioning that I(we) are going through an eviction process and had court today, and we were there on time and the slumlord/property manager's lawyer was trying to get us to settle out of court, and come to find out that the courthouse lost the paperwork on our case and the judge who was going to hear our case is on vacation. So, we have to go back next week, and the attorney told us that the landlord/slumlord (who shall remain nameless) will not be able to be there next week. I think its because he didn't think we were going to show and he would have won by default. but by this all happenning in our favor it seems like someone up above is looking out for our best interests. but it makes me think about "why won't he be able to be there next week?" is it because he is gonna be on vacation as he is everytime we requested some repairs and how come the repairs we request never got fixed???

this is what makes me believe that he is a complete slumlord. and to top it off, he didn;t even recognize us until his attorney called our names and we responded. so that leads me to believe that he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

but on the lighter side, it is going to give us more time to get our stuff into the storage unit, and find a place, so when we do finally go to court, we will already be up out of here, and on to our better place.

interesting...

2007-02-04T19:41:00.000-08:00

after I posted my last blogg last night, we ended up going out with some BEAUTIFUL female friends and we finally got in at 5:00a.m. and I got about 4 hours of sleep and got woken up from my friends roommate and her baby and I could not get back to sleep... so then I went to a super bowl party and ate and became very tired. I just wanted to check in with every one

too bad for the Bears... not too interesting of a game. my team (49ers)weren't in it, so I wasn't too interested nor did I have any money on the game... I would have put mine on Da Bears!!!! woulda lost, so maybe its a good thing I didnt blow any money on the game.

well, its about time for me to get to bed. so good night to all and stay tuned for more about me...

another saturday night

2007-02-03T20:30:00.000-08:00

So here I am on another Saturday night just chillin at my boy's house doing nothing while he chills in his room with his lady... and i am here with his roommates who, one of them is hooked on the computer. and the other one is just a wannabe thug miss know it all and never wrong with an intimidating way about herself... but we are sitting here watching LADDER 49 and as my boy walks out of his room in his sweats... I guess we aint goin nowhere...

HYPHY NOTE!!!

2007-02-03T10:25:00.000-08:00

I found some amuzement i wanted to share...

I feared...

2007-02-03T09:06:00.000-08:00

I feared being alone
until I learned to like
myself.

I feared failure
until I realized that I only
fail when I don't try.

I feared success
until I realized
that I had to try
in order to be happy
with myself.

I feared people's opinions
until I learned that
people would have opinions
about me anyway.

I feared rejection
until I learned to
have faith in myself.

I feared pain
until I learned that
it's necessary
for growth.

I feared the truth
until I saw the
ugliness in lies.

I feared life
until I experienced
its beauty.

I feared death
until I realized that it's
not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
until I realized that
I had the power to change
my life.

I feared hate
until I saw that it
was nothing more than
ignorance.

I feared love
until it touched my heart,
making the darkness fade
into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
until I learned how
to laugh at myself.

I feared growing old
until I realized that
I gained wisdom every day.

I feared the future
until I realized that
life just kept getting
better.

I feared the past
until I realized that
it could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
until I saw the beauty
of the starlight.

I feared the light
until I learned that the
truth would give me
strength.

I feared change,
until I saw that
even the most beautiful butterfly
had to undergo a metamorphosis
before it could fly.

sorry if i ever left a hole.

2007-02-03T09:00:00.000-08:00

There once was a little boy who had a bad

temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails

and told him that every time he lost his

temper, he must hammer a nail into the back

of the fence. The first day the boy had

driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next

few weeks, as he learned to control his

anger, the number of nails hammered daily

gradually dwindled down. He discovered

it was easier to hold his temper than to

drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't

lose his temper at all. He told his father

about it and the father suggested that the

boy now pull out one nail for each day that

he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally

able to tell his father that all the nails

were gone. The father took his son by the

hand and led him to the fence He said, "You

have done well, my son, but look at the

holes in the fence. The fence will never be

the same. When you say things in anger,

they leave a scar just like this one. You

can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm

sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal

wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They

make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

They lend an ear, they share words of praise

and they always want to open their hearts to us."

It's National Friendship Week. Show your

friends how much you care. Send this to

everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if

it means sending it back to the person who

sent it to you. If it comes back to you,

then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Now send this to every friend you have!!

sorry if i ever left a hole.

What would you do...?

2007-02-02T21:19:00.000-08:00

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend, some don't ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love.

As we grow up... love me for me

2007-02-02T01:17:00.000-08:00

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. I am me, this is me....love me for me!!!

misery loves company

2007-02-01T00:41:00.000-08:00

ya know, it really is hard to maintain sanity when you have someone ALWAYS on you case about some petty stuff. especially if they are going through a depression phase because they choose to stay stuck in it, and a lot of people tell me that I need to get away from this negativity and I really have nowhere to go. I guess its true what they say, MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!! and I dont need that now.

I just needed to get that out...

any suggestions???

2007-02-01T00:02:00.000-08:00

me in the middle

I am so bored and cannot sleep so I am going to post a pic ar 2...

My friend Bobby and I

checking in with my fans...

2007-01-31T23:42:00.000-08:00

So as I mentioned before I am a student in college. So I am reporting progress on how my classes are going... and so far I dont have too much to really report but I do have 2 classes before I am able to accept my second degree. I am currently a Criminal Justice Major at Heald College being that I received my first degre from Heald College in Business Administration. My plans after this degree are yet to be determined... I am thinking that I want to go to a University to get my Bachelors degree... or just take up something in the Business Administration. So I can live like the guys in the movie "Office Space" and work at a job that I hate or work somewhere in the Criminal Justice field.

Any Suggestions??? or job offers HIT ME UP!!!

gratitude happens when you put your faith out there

2007-01-31T22:11:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I mentioned it before, but a few weeks back, I was doing laundry and someone from the neighborhood decided to steal all of my clothes from the washer...

I was trying to get some money from my school loans, and put the word out with the faculty at my school and someone decided to donate some brand new shirts which I am very grateful for plus they were all brand new... tags on em and all yet I am still VERY GRATEFUL!!!

Redneck Man's pick up lines

2007-01-29T15:56:00.000-08:00

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?
cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea.
I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel,
I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here,
but beauty's only a light switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!"
Woman - "WHAT?"
Man - "I just wanted to say something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer " bed-rock."

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep til afternoon.
and.... the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench ...every time I
think of it my nuts tighten up.

STARBUCKS DENIES COFFEE TO MARINES

2007-01-29T12:39:00.000-08:00

I got this alarming newsletter in an e-mail so I thought I might share it with you kind folks who choose to read this...

Recently Marines in Iraq wrote to Starbucks because they wanted to let them know how much they liked their coffees and
to request that they send some of it to the troops there.
Starbucks replied, telling the Marines thank you for their support of their business, but that Starbucks does not support the war, nor anyone in it, and that they would not send the troops their brand of coffee.

So as not to offend Starbucks, maybe we should not support them by buying any of their products! As a war vet writing
to fellow patriots, I feel we should get this out in the open.

I know this war might not be very popular with some folks, but that doesn't mean we don't support the boys on the ground fighting street-to-street and house-to-house for what they and I believe is right.

If you feel the same as I do then pass this along, or you can discard it and no one will never know. Thanks very much
for your support. I know you'll all be there again when I deploy once more.

"Semper Fidelis."
Sgt Howard C. Wright
1st Force Recon Co
1st Plt PLT

back to school

2007-01-29T10:57:00.000-08:00

So when I started this blog I was on a break from school... and now I am in school studying towards my second AAS (first one being in business administration).

So I decided to write some of my thoughts as a journal as the days go on in the crazy head of mine in the attempt to not go insane.

I am wanting to keep everyone updated on a daily journal of a college student. (including myself)

see you all later :)

Ya Know How I Know...

2007-01-24T05:55:00.000-08:00

I'm from California. <3

-I cuss a lot.

-I say "for sure" and "right on" and "hella" and I say it often.

-I know what real cheese & avocados taste like.

-I don't get snowdays off because theres only snow in Mammoth, Tahoe and Big Bear.

-Summers are really hot, and winters really cold. That's the way it is.

-I go to the Beach - not "down the shore" (who the fuck says that anyways?).

-I know 65 mph really means 80+.

-When someone cuts me off, they get the horn and the finger & accept it.

-I've been to "the city" (if your from California you don't say Frisco....you look stupid) and have eaten fresh clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl.

-The drinking age is 21 but everyone starts at 14 (legally 18 if you live close enough to the border).

-My governor can kick ur governors ass.

-I can go out at midnight and wear a t-shirt and shorts.

-I might get looked at funny by locals when I'm on vacation in their state, but when they find out I'm from California I turn into a greek GOD.

-I can get fresh and REAL Mexican food 24 hours a day (GOD bless Adleberto's)

-All the TV shows you "other" states watch get filmed here.

-We have In-N-Out (Arizona and Vegas are lucky we share that with them)

.-You fuckers watch the O.C. from the comfort of you home.. I live in it!

-I'm from California and I love it....

You will always live on in our hearts

2007-01-22T21:09:00.000-08:00

In case I haven't told ya... Recently, my Uncle Wayne passed away. Unfortunately there was no traditional funeral, let alone a funeral at all. He was cremated and spread throught the bay. Well, this uncle of mine was SUPER close to my mom when they were growing up.

My mom has told me stories of them hitchhiking up and down the California coast, when they were younger (HIPPIES). As weird as it sounds, my mom was the ONLY sibling of hers to be assigned to go through his apartment looking for all of the legal statememnts, recurring bills and possible life insurance (and I helped). So yesterday weas a family (my mom, my sister, myself and her boyfriend and his sister)put together a memorial for his memory. It was in a secluded spot that is now a special place where his loving memories will live on forever.

Bring it back...

2007-01-22T07:30:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else remember the SUPER BOWL SHUFFLE... I was about 4 when it the theme of the year... and the BEARS won the Super Bowl.

As Far as the Super Bowl Goes...

2007-01-22T07:18:00.000-08:00

HOLY MIDWEST BOWL BATMAN!!!!

2007-01-22T06:55:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I was able to watch the end of the Indianapolis win when the fact is that the game went into the fourth quarter 21-3 and Indianapolis ended up winning 38-34 and now the Super Bowl is going to be a VERY INTERESTING game. 2 teams that have not been to the Super Bowl in years. and to top it off it is between neighboring states... let alone cities. I am looking forward to this Super Bowl because they are BOTH very hungry for this Super Bowl.

YADADYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

hey people... check it out

2007-01-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

so I found a new website and it is really fun...

its not ALL bad

2007-01-18T20:10:00.000-08:00

So I decided to try my luck today and went to my school to see if Icould run into one of my teachers who happens to be a retired lawyer and as luck would have it he was there and helped me with understanding what we could do about our landlord/agent situation. and come to find out this landlord could have only taken us to small claims court but decided to go to superior court and I found out why. because if he were to lose in small claims court he would not be able to appeal to where in small claims court only the defendant can file for an appeal if they lose. this is news to me because in my study of Criminal Justice, the only grounds for appeal is a.) constitutional issues b.) legal mistakes. but I guess in Civil Law, you are able to appeal if you dont like the outcome of the court. which is amazing to to me and makes me want to study Civil Law. that just sounds more interesting to me. as I said previously, I am studyng Criminal Justice. that is the only side of the law available to learn at the school I go to, being that I am only able to earn my A.A.S. degree. which is not a bad thing but if I want to learn more, or get a higher degree, I would need to go to a University or somewhere else other than my school I am at now.

So I was able to get a referral from my ex-lawyer teacher to another attorney who is a property attorney who sounds like he may be willing to help us and walk into court with us. because come to find out if we were to walk into Superior Court without a lawyer, we would be pretty much dead in the water before the case even starts. so I am very grateful that I have teachers who are so willing to help "the little guy" and it helps that they know other attorneys who seem willing to help.

MORE WILL BE REVEALED

2007-01-18T07:15:00.000-08:00

so as I mentioned, I am a law student. So today I am going up to my school and gonna receive some assistance regarding this falsified eviction notice... and fight this land(slum) lord. Even in my little experience in studying law, I am finding so many holes in the reports and falsified documents. I believe we have a fighting chance to win this case. I dont understand why this guy is being such an ass about getting us out of here. in the past, we have made payments as we are now, but because he thinks that we went and bought a new car, when in reality, my mom sort of inherited the brand new car... So this guy probably thinks he will win it from her when the true reality is the fact that it is not even in her name yet.

stay tuned, MORE WILL BE REVEALED

Amused...

2007-01-17T19:28:00.000-08:00

I think it is quite amusing that our landlord (slumlord) is trying to evict us and doesn't realize how many holes are in his case... or the fact that he is doing this to a current law student who semi-understands what all this paperwork is saying. I truly find it great that he probably doesn't think we are going to do anything to keep a roof over our head, little does he know. Well, he has another thing coming...

thanks for listening to me vent my anger issues and have a good day

here is a good recipe

2007-01-17T12:53:00.000-08:00

(Recipe may be halved)
2 cups butter
24 oz. chocolate chips
4 cups flour
2 cups brown sugar
2 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
2 cups sugar
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
5 cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. vanilla
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)

Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar, and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet.

Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees.
Makes 112 cookies.

it sure is nice...

2007-01-17T12:25:00.000-08:00

Well, as I mentioned before, I am a student and for this week we are on vacation between quarters. We go back to classes next Wednesday and I must say that it feels quite nice to be able to wake up later than usual. My usual wake up time is 5 a.m. and to be able to sleep in is just truly refreshing. To have nothing to do but play video games, and taking midday naps and mess around on the computer all day. I just want to soak it up while it lasts... to where my only stress is deciding what I am going to cook for dinner...

Although tomorrow, I am going to look for a job and I even have a friend to go with. It usually helps to have some support while out there pounding the pavement. It is a full time job, just to look for a part time job.

Today is...

2007-01-17T06:55:00.000-08:00

Today is my first time doing this blog thing, and in my life's experience, I have learned the way to maintain any type of sanity, is to keep a journal. Since, I have heard that this is a type of journal, I figured I would give it a try.

So, let me fill you in on what is going on in my life... About 2 days after last christmas, I received a call from the Alameda Sheriff Dept. that my uncle passed away and have been helping my mom deal with going through his stuff to find insurance papers to deal with his cremation and all that stuff and to find out along the way that my mom's older sister is being a complete B*TCH about the whole thing, and is not being at all helpful in this situation. come to find out that they are scattering his ashes today.

Along the way, I have had to rid myself of someone who I really thought was a REAL friend. come to find out he has this idea in his mind that my whole goal in life is to use him and abuse his friendship. Let me give you a bit of history first.

when I was younger, I was raised in the mid-west (Illinois/Wisconsin) and the people out there are what I consider friends NO MATTER WHAT! and the day I turned 19, I moved to the great state of CA and BOY OH BOY what a culture shock... It seems as though californians dont want friendship unless you have something to offer.

well, recently I have been a full time student in college, been living in CA for a little over 7 years now, and finally just starting to get my shit together. this person that I thought was my BEST friend, just let me down. and I am sick and tired of putting myself out there as the best friend I can be, to be crapped on, AGAIN.

well, I think this has been a lot of info for the first time blogging, but stay tuned for more.