GOD IS GOOD

So we have a friend of the family is letting us stay in a house they are paying rent for and not living there, and they do not want me and my mom to be livin in a homeless shelter so they are letting us stay there for a little bit

as for some positive news, I had a job interview today and I also got ahold of one of my previous co-worker and he has told me that there is a few positions open at where he works and it is local to where we are going to be living and there are so many more opportunities in the area, which is a motivating factor to me.

It could be worse...

So I promised that I would keep you all in touch when possible. So here I am in a homeless shelter and trying to keep my head on straight, it is not the first time I have ever been homeless, but I dont like it that the only person here who I can trust is my mom. Not that its bad to be able to trust my mom but for that to be the only one who truly has my back in this whole situation, is just unbelievable to me.

Like I mentioned previously I have been homeless in the past in a different county, and that was with my dad, and it was completely different.mainly because of the diference in defense mechanisms, my dad made sure I was alright as well and made sure we weere alright, as my mom is, but my dad is/was slightly more used to being homeless to where this is my moms first time being homeless and she is showing me that if I weren't here with her, I dont think she would keep her head on right.

I do feel slightly back into being homeless while realising that it is only temporary and we will only be here for about a month or so.and for me it isnt as bad as it could be. we could be without a.)a vehicle b.) money or c.) a roof over our head and plenty of resources to utilize.

Like I said "it COULD be a lot worse." So for now, this is Bryan "Bz" SIGNING OUT

I might be back later... But I will definitely be staying in contact with this as a journal for my sanity, and maybe even sometimes, I might be able to entertain you a lil bit.

PEACE GRITS and ALL THAT GOOD SHIT!!!!

TURN THE PAGE...

So this may be the last you hear from me for a while... I am going to be disconnecting the home computer and going to be on the move. I will try to do my best to report on here as much as possible while on my journey towards a better life.


SO UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN... BE SAFE!!!

Good Habits Hebrews 6:1

So let us go on to grown-up teaching.
Let us not go back over the beginning lessons
we learned about Christ.
Hebrews 6:1

     I like the story of the little boy who fell out
of bed. When his Mom asked him what happened,
he answered, "I don't know. I guess I stayed too close
to where I got in."
     Easy to do the same with our faith. It's tempt-
ing just to stay where we got in and never move.
     Pick a time in the not-too-distant past. A year
or two ago. Now ask yourself a few questions. How
does your prayer life today compare with then? How
about your giving? Have both the amount and the
joy increased? What about your church loyalty? Can
you tell you've grown? And bible study? Are you
learning to learn?...
     Don't make the mistake of the little boy. Don't
stay too close to where you got in. It's risky resting
on the edge.

When God Whispers Your Name

If God is for us, who [can be] against us?

If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who
can be our foe, if God is on our side?]
Romans 8:31

     Do you feel as though the world is against
you? Does it seem that no matter how
hard you try no one is pleased? Maybe you have con-
flict with a family member. Perhaps your boss finds
fault with your work.
     Sooner or later you will experience some form
of  rejection. Not everybody will like you. some may
even aggressively dislike you. No one enjoys being re-
jected, but you can learn to handle rejeciton and get
on with your life if you remember that jesus was
also rejected and despised. If you feel rejected, give
your hurt to God:
    Lord, I can't please everyone all of the time. I
will concentrate on being a God pleaser and not a
man pleaser. The rest I leave in Your hands, Lord.
Grant me favor with You and with men, and con-
tinue transforming me into the image of Your Son.
Thank You, Lord.

according to this quiz I just took... I AM AN OLD SOUL

table width="500" border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="0" bgcolor="#003366">

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle...

What’s Your Mental Age? MY RESULT:Old Soul

You’re a great person to know ‘cause you’re so wise and mature. Plus you’re probably good at shuffleboard. The good news is, you're fearless, and you've got a healthy outlook on life. The bad news is, you've got one foot in the grave. Hey, that's okay - we're sure you'll be partying it up in the afterlife, too. Take This Quiz!

HAPPY YEAR OF THE BOAR

And have a blessed

Feelings, nothing more than FEELINGS...

So this is the last weekend at this place of residence which I choose to call a HELL HOLE and I am slightly excited, nervous, scared happy dicomforted and uneasy about everything that has been going on in the last few months in my life. I have not been able to be/get comfortable for the longest time, I am so full of stress now that I don't know what to do with myself, half the time. I think it is because we have NOWHERE TO GO, is what is making me feel all of these feelings, so much.


this is how our land/slumlord has treated us. the funny thing is that he didn't even know who we were until we were in court and his attorney called our names and we responded. Ain't that some shit...

You know how I know you are gay...

So I was tricked into this clip...

A Russian dramatist and writer once said...

Man has been endowed with reason, with the power to create, so that he can add to what he's been given.
- Anton Chekhov (1860-1904) Russian dramatist and writer

Whatever may be troubling you, shake it off!

Now Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks, and he
was laying them on the fire when a vier crawled out
because of the heat and fastened itself on his hand.
When the natives saw the little animal hanging from
his hand, they said to one another, Doubtless this
man is a murderer, for though he has been saved from
the sea, Justice [the goddess of avenging] has not
permitted that he should live. Then [Paul simply]
shook off the small creature into the fire and
suffered no evil effects.
Acts 28:3-5

     When Paul was shipwrecked on the island
of Malta, a deadly snake that was driven
out by the heat of fire bit him. He simply shook
the creature off into the flames. You should follow
Paul's example and do the same in your own life.
     Whatever may be troubling you, shake it off!
God has great things planned for you. the dreams of
the future leave no room for the snakebites of the
past.

Aristotle noted...

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but rather we have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

my personality...

Another badass quiz from eSPIN-the-Bottle... The eSPIN Personality Test MY RESULT:Human Coffee Bean Just like a normal coffee bean, you're pure energy (but unlike one of them, you're not so bitter). You've got a pretty good attitude about things - you're kind, and a good friend - but sometimes you're so revved up that you don't know what to do with yourself. So you burn it off with fun and parties and having a good time. Which is a big part of why people are drawn to you - you've got great energy surrounding you. Just don't forget about all the great things that happen in the quiet moments. You know - when you finally stop running around and take a nice look around you. Sometimes low-energy is just as thrilling as high-energy. You know what we mean? Take This Quiz!

3 Meat Pasta Sauce

Ingredients:
3 lbs. Beef Chuck Roast (Boneless), trimmed and cut into 1” cubes
3 lbs. Pork Roast (Boneless), trimmed and cut into 1” cubes
1 lb. Italian Sausage Links, cut into 1” slices
3 tbs. Olive Oil
3 large onions, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced
3 28-oz. cans tomato sauce
1 28-oz. can tomatoes with juice, crushed
3 6-oz. cans tomato paste
1/2 cup fresh parsley, minced
2 tbs. oregano
2 tbs. dried basil
3 tsp. garlic salt
2 tsp. salt
2 tsp. pepper.


Directions:
In a large soup kettle, brown all meats in olive oil, drain. Add onions and garlic, and cook until tender. Add all remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, loosely cover and simmer for 3 hours, stirring occasionally. Serve over pasta or freeze for later use.

the anticipation is growing....

I think this FREE OZZFEST is going to be OFF THE HOOK... I was reading up on this matter and doing some research, when I stumbled across an interesting piece of information pertaining to the stipulations of this free event, which stated that you can have a free seat, but if you leave that seat, it goes up for grabs, and your friend(s) may not be able to save you that seat.


this could be good or it could be bad too...

well, I really hope it is a good thing, because I have been to OZZFEST in 2005, and it was an experience that i will never forget, which is why I think I would enjoy this event, especially since it is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!

This is from 2005. My boy Ricky got the tickets for his birthday and brought me. I had too much fun :)

just simply answer the questions... PLEASE?!

1. your name:

2. age:

3. fave color:

4. are you a virgin?

5. are we friends?

6. Do you have a crush on me?

7. would you kiss me?

8. ....... with tongue?

9. would you enjoy it?

10. would you ever ask me out?

11. would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

12. would you take care of me when i'm sick?

13. do you want to tell me somthing that you couldn't before?

14. would you walk on the beach with me?

15. if you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me?

16. do you/have you talk shit about me?

17. do you think i'm a good person?

18. would you let me sleep with you?

19. do you think i'm hot?

20. if you could change anything about me , what would it be?

21. if we date, how long would you want to wait until we did it?

22. would you have sex with me?

23. would you come over for no reason, just to hang out?

24. will you post thist so i can fill it out for you?

25. what do you rate me outta 1- 10??

whatever don't kill us is going to make us stronger, right???

Well, we had court today and we are officially evicted just waiting for the sheriff to serve us the OFFICIAL 5-day notice and it is a good thing that we at least got a storage so that we dont lose all of our personal belongings. it is kind of a shock but I truly think it is for the best. The way I figure it, it can only get better from here, after all that my mom and I have been through within the last few months, as far as death in the family, loss of employment, while fighting an eviction...

like I may have mentioned before... whatever don't kill us is going to make us stronger, right??? and after these trials and tribulations I may end up very strong, because MAN does it feel like we have been through hell and high water... AND SURVIVED!!!

some words of wisdom...

The aim of an argument or discussion should not be victory, but progress.
- Joseph Joubert

so tired of being lonely...

I am so sick of being told the same thing over and over... JUST BE PATIENT, THE RIGHT ONE IS OUT THERE... WAITING FOR YOU LIKE YOU ARE FOR HER.

just so sick of waiting, and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting

I think you get the picture.



I don't get it, I am a good guy, not ugly, great personality... pretty much every thing I hear women wanting in a man... I guess when they say "size matters" is talking about the belly... I am a pretty big guy, and such a "GREAT FRIEND" but none of these females I go after are just not interested in being with a good man

I guess I wil just keep patiently waitin...

I DONT KNOW ANYMORE...

I dont know why it is but every time I sit at the computer, I get this overwhelming sensation of exhaustion, and I dont know why it only happens to me when I need to get work done. I can mess around all day surfing the internet, checking e-mail and staying stuck on myspace, but when I decide to start doing work, like I am supposed to, I just get really tired. I think it is because I am using the excuse of my life and all the shtuff that I have been going through within the last few months and I just don't feel like the Criminal Justice field is not my true passion? I mean it was fun my first quarter, learning criminal justice, but now it seems like I am not learning anything new. maybe that is why I am not as enthused about doing the work. its not my true passion, maybe???







I just wish that I had more of a motivator than just money, because if it is just about money, my true passion will never see the lights of day, and I will die alone and feeling unfulfilled...



I think I need to really explore my passion for life and where do I want to take it?

I DONT KNOW ANYMORE!!!

someone once said...

I read this somewhere and wanted to share it...

"Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength."

I like what is being said :)

OZZFEST or FREEFEST???

HOLY OZZFEST, BATMAN...


OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!



so I was listening to the radio today, I happened to hear some of the sweetest words to my ears, went a little somthin like... "OZZFEST WILL BE ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!" After I heard that, my heart dropped and I got so excited and had to tell my boys and one of them knew it already and tried to doubt Ozzy.




OZZFEST FOR FREE!!! OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!OZZFEST FOR FREE!!!

good news, bad news... better news :)

So as I have been mentioning that I(we) are going through an eviction process and had court today, and we were there on time and the slumlord/property manager's lawyer was trying to get us to settle out of court, and come to find out that the courthouse lost the paperwork on our case and the judge who was going to hear our case is on vacation. So, we have to go back next week, and the attorney told us that the landlord/slumlord (who shall remain nameless) will not be able to be there next week. I think its because he didn't think we were going to show and he would have won by default. but by this all happenning in our favor it seems like someone up above is looking out for our best interests. but it makes me think about "why won't he be able to be there next week?" is it because he is gonna be on vacation as he is everytime we requested some repairs and how come the repairs we request never got fixed???

this is what makes me believe that he is a complete slumlord. and to top it off, he didn;t even recognize us until his attorney called our names and we responded. so that leads me to believe that he doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

but on the lighter side, it is going to give us more time to get our stuff into the storage unit, and find a place, so when we do finally go to court, we will already be up out of here, and on to our better place.

interesting...

after I posted my last blogg last night, we ended up going out with some BEAUTIFUL female friends and we finally got in at 5:00a.m. and I got about 4 hours of sleep and got woken up from my friends roommate and her baby and I could not get back to sleep... so then I went to a super bowl party and ate and became very tired. I just wanted to check in with every one

too bad for the Bears... not too interesting of a game. my team (49ers)weren't in it, so I wasn't too interested nor did I have any money on the game... I would have put mine on Da Bears!!!! woulda lost, so maybe its a good thing I didnt blow any money on the game.

well, its about time for me to get to bed. so good night to all and stay tuned for more about me...

another saturday night

So here I am on another Saturday night just chillin at my boy's house doing nothing while he chills in his room with his lady... and i am here with his roommates who, one of them is hooked on the computer. and the other one is just a wannabe thug miss know it all and never wrong with an intimidating way about herself... but we are sitting here watching LADDER 49 and as my boy walks out of his room in his sweats... I guess we aint goin nowhere...

HYPHY NOTE!!!

I found some amuzement i wanted to share...

I feared...

I feared being alone
until I learned to like
myself.

I feared failure
until I realized that I only
fail when I don't try.

I feared success
until I realized
that I had to try
in order to be happy
with myself.

I feared people's opinions
until I learned that
people would have opinions
about me anyway.

I feared rejection
until I learned to
have faith in myself.

I feared pain
until I learned that
it's necessary
for growth.

I feared the truth
until I saw the
ugliness in lies.

I feared life
until I experienced
its beauty.

I feared death
until I realized that it's
not an end, but a beginning.

I feared my destiny,
until I realized that
I had the power to change
my life.

I feared hate
until I saw that it
was nothing more than
ignorance.

I feared love
until it touched my heart,
making the darkness fade
into endless sunny days.

I feared ridicule
until I learned how
to laugh at myself.

I feared growing old
until I realized that
I gained wisdom every day.

I feared the future
until I realized that
life just kept getting
better.

I feared the past
until I realized that
it could no longer hurt me.

I feared the dark
until I saw the beauty
of the starlight.

I feared the light
until I learned that the
truth would give me
strength.

I feared change,
until I saw that
even the most beautiful butterfly
had to undergo a metamorphosis
before it could fly.

sorry if i ever left a hole.

There once was a little boy who had a bad

temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails

and told him that every time he lost his

temper, he must hammer a nail into the back

of the fence. The first day the boy had

driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next

few weeks, as he learned to control his

anger, the number of nails hammered daily

gradually dwindled down. He discovered

it was easier to hold his temper than to

drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't

lose his temper at all. He told his father

about it and the father suggested that the

boy now pull out one nail for each day that

he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally

able to tell his father that all the nails

were gone. The father took his son by the

hand and led him to the fence He said, "You

have done well, my son, but look at the

holes in the fence. The fence will never be

the same. When you say things in anger,

they leave a scar just like this one. You

can put a knife in a man and draw it out.

It won't matter how many times you say I'm

sorry, the wound is still there. " A verbal

wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They

make you smile and encourage you to succeed.

They lend an ear, they share words of praise

and they always want to open their hearts to us."

It's National Friendship Week. Show your

friends how much you care. Send this to

everyone you consider a FRIEND, even if

it means sending it back to the person who

sent it to you. If it comes back to you,

then you'll know you have a circle of friends.

YOU ARE MY FRIEND AND I AM HONORED!

Now send this to every friend you have!!

sorry if i ever left a hole.

What would you do...?

What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend, some don't ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love.

As we grow up... love me for me

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. I am me, this is me....love me for me!!!

misery loves company

ya know, it really is hard to maintain sanity when you have someone ALWAYS on you case about some petty stuff. especially if they are going through a depression phase because they choose to stay stuck in it, and a lot of people tell me that I need to get away from this negativity and I really have nowhere to go. I guess its true what they say, MISERY LOVES COMPANY!!! and I dont need that now.

I just needed to get that out...

any suggestions???

me in the middle

I am so bored and cannot sleep so I am going to post a pic ar 2...

My friend Bobby and I